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A first grade school teacher presented each child in her classroom the first half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders; their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first graders, 6-year-olds!

Don't change horses until they stop running.
Strike while the bug is close.
It's always darkest before Daylight Saving Time.
Never underestimate the power of termites.
You can lead a horse to water but how?
Don't bite the hand that looks dirty.
No news is impossible.
A miss is as good as a Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new math.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll stink in the morning.
Love all, trust me.
The pen is mightier than the pigs.
An idle mind is the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there's pollution.
Happy is the bride who gets all the presents.
A penny saved is not much.
Two's company, three's the Musketeers.
Don't put off till tomorrow what you put on to go to bed.
Children should be seen and not grounded.
If at first you don't succeed get new batteries.

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"I'm taking Continental," was the reply. "I got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"I'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?"

"I'm going to go to see the Vatican and hope to see the Pope."

"That's terrible" laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome. "It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only was I on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped me up to first class.

The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave me their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, I were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

"He said, 'Where'd you get the lousy hairdo?'"

Sign in a Resturant: All our food is fat free. You don't pay for the fat.

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Pat Baars

Skype Address: JoyfulPaths